Sorry for the delay in reply, I have been on vacation for the past 3 weeks.  Through management, I obtained the resident’s name and telephone number.  He fails to answer the telephone or door, therefore I passed the report to the State’s Attorney’s office for further action.  If they decide to pursue, they will issue a warrant.  If there is anything further I can assist with, let me know.

We may have to proceed with Plan B: Public Shaming (or: The Iron Fist of Vigilante Justice).

Unfortunately, these informants were GB sympathizers, as they described him as “a nice guy” who “wouldn’t do that.” They also informed us that there’s apparently a Champaign municipal code that disallows parking bike next to the sidewalk, but this seems ludicrous to me, and a search of the online municipal code database turns nothing up. Not to mention, the police officer never mentioned that our bike was violating code. I put the decoy inside anyway.

Why don’t we think it’s him? Well, this isn’t the first idea this idea has been suggested. A. and I got the following Facebook message from E.K. the other day:

As we thought about this proposition, we came up with the following evidence:

Evidence for landlord = GB:

• The landlord said it was him in the picture (but why would he admit to it but not the gumming if it really was him? A.’s theory is that it was very early, the officer probably woke him up, and he might not have been wearing his glasses).
• The landlord doesn’t know of anyone else in the building who looks like that, and he would know.
• The landlord has a motive: he told the police officer that bikes aren’t supposed to be parked out there.
• They are both older white men with similar cropped, graying hair

Evidence against landlord = GB:

• The landlord is cooperating with investigation: he offered his email address to the officer if she had any further questions.
• The landlord has only lived there for a year and the gumming started before that.
• The last bike gumming caught on the motion detecting camera happened in the image immediately BEFORE the landlord entered the frame. We caught this same shot on the DSLR, and the GB was wearing his usual maroon shirt (in the video) while the landlord was wearing a white polo (on the motion detector). However, we deleted the full video file, so it’s not clear how much time there was between the landlord walking by and the gum bandit striking.
• The landlord’s dog, Blake, has never been seen with GB. Why would he not take him on his constitutionals? E.K. said maybe Blake’s too old for long walks, but that would mean that he walks Blake, goes inside, changes into his maroon shirt, and goes back out to walk immediately after. Seems weird.
• When I saw him in the building, he was coming out of the elevator. Suggests that he lives upstairs.
• A. and I thought he drove an SUV, but landlord drives a tan hatchback.

Here’s a photo comparison:

Needless to say, this turn of events has sent shock waves across Prairie Street. Reactions have ranged from amazed disbelief from J. (the original GB victim)…

…to harebreained theories…

…to a near total mind melt (on my part). A. and I are currently sitting in front of the building waiting for GB to come out so we can call the police and for our 12 pack to cool down so we can make the most out of our stakeout.

“We’re gonna stick it to him!”

That’s what the police officer said as she finished writing taking down our information. She was the same officer who came out when some hoodlum kids tried to steal the decoy, and even before we had hard evidence, she was sympathetic to our cause and encouraged us to call the police when we finally caught him on camera.

When she first came, we showed her the footage, and she asked for a copy of the files to attach to the report. She said that she will have the landlord (who lives in the building) come into the station to identify the culprit, and then she will throw the book at him.

So how does society punish gum bandits these days? Most likely, he will get a $165 ticket for disorderly conduct. However, the officer said she’s going to try to make a case for a criminal damage, which may carry a heftier fine. Either way, he’s going to have a misdemeanor on his record, and hopefully the fine will make a dent in his gum-purchasing budget. Plus, our landlord will be notified by the police, which may carry its own consequences.

Hopefully, very soon, the bikes of Prairie Street will be free from the wrath of the Gum Bandit.

The police are on their way. Update later today.

While listening to the monthly Metafilter podcast today, we discovered that we have a partner in outrage in mathowie (AKA Matt Haughey, Metafilter founder), who’s big on bikes. He threw his vote behind plastering the shaming poster all over Champaign, IL (which, we are flattered and slightly tickled to hear, resembles NYC, at least in its sidewalks). Download the full podcast here(mp3) or listen on MetaTalk. Coverage of bike banditry starts around 40:40.

We’ve been debating what to do about the Gum Bandit. A. is moving out of his apartment on August 1st, so if we choose to do anything that could potentially subject us to retaliation (e.g., the shaming poster), it should ideally happen as close to that time as possible. We’d also like to alert the landlord (who lives in the building) and/or the police, although we’re not sure what, if anything, they’ll do.

What do you think? Do we tell the police and the landlord? If so, who should we tell first?

More evidence that he’s some sort of supernatural motion-detection eluder:

Exhibit B:

Hi-res shot:

A. insists it’s still usable.